Bracket Racket #1 - Trash Talk

A few days ago I asked ChatGPT to give me its top eight sports to trash talk in. Using its rankings, I’ve created seedings and a playoff bracket with which I will be working through to ultimately crown a champion - or ‘chirpion’. Cue the outrage…

THE EIGHT:

1v8: If given a better seeding, I could’ve seen footy cause some upsets, but going against the favourite is hard. Give me Basketball. 

4v5: Any sport in which it is legal to physically fight each other all the time can never truly embrace trash talking. Give me American Football.

3v6: Everyone is too respectful in tennis (I miss Kyrgios). They smash six rackets and then claim their opponent deserved to win two seconds later. Give me The Beautiful Game.

2v7: Honestly not sure how cricket made the eight - potentially another scandal. Leave it with me and I’ll check with ChatGPT for ball-tampering. Give me Punching People. 

TOP FOUR:

1v5: Probably the best two sports to call a 1v1 in, I’m devastated the seedings denied us this grand final. While Sherman v Crabtree was awesome, American Football trash talk is often limited to positional matchups. Heartbreaking, but give me LeBasketball. 

3v2: This matchup brings us polar opposites going head-to-head. Soccer players often face language barriers while the UFC brings in translators just so one fighter can insult the other’s family. Give me Dana White. 

THE CHIP:

1v2: How lucky we are to see the top two teams going at it. Although I personally struggle to shut my mouth in community basketball, the DNA of trash talk is in press conferences and face offs. Fighters say things that no post-game ‘respect handshake’ can help put in the past. This makes UFC & Boxing your inaugural “Bracket Racket” winner!

PS: Stay tuned, Ben’s Ten #2 is dropping next week…